ACoopers4Me

As Sydney bakes and the Railcorp boys in orange decide trackwork at all hours outside our apartment is a good idea, it's easy to forget the little things that make me smile. So I thought I'd take five minutes out of my day to record some of my favourite things that make me happy:

• Songs by my favourite artists turning up unexpectedly in movies and TV shows


• Clean sheets, clean PJs and a clean body all combined


• Dark underwear through white clothing


• When she smiles in her sleep


• The first sip of coffee in the morning


• The first sip of Coke Zero in the afternoon


• Bumping into friends in cafes and pubs


• When my favourite jeans are not in the wash


• Shaun Micallef


• Coming home to find she's bought me marinated octopus and feta-stuffed olives


• The New Zealand accent


• New blogs by Leigh Sales


• Summer dresses on windy days


• In-jokes between her and I that no one else understands


• Anything written and/or directed by Graham Linehan


• Banjos. Played well


• Cooking for others


• Beers on the Mackereth's front porch


• Crossing the Sydney Harbour Bridge


• Getting a parallel park right the first time


• When a band I discovered through a support slot end up doing a headlining tour


• Flirty shop assistants and check-out chicks


• Wearing a brand new t-shirt


• That moment when a "witty" remark I make is delivered with perfect comic timing


• When she looks really feminine in a skirt or dress


• Finding that an author I love has a new book out and I didn't even realise


• When you could hear a pin drop during a live performance


• Full cream milk in what should have been a skim latte - it really does taste so much better no matter how bad it is for you


• iTunes Genius


• The way she looks when she first wakes up

Just under ten years ago Micah and I walked into a DVD store in Sydney's North Shore without any idea what we wanted to see. I remember the pickings being fairly slim and we eventually settled on the new Edward Norton film Fight Club on the strength of his performance in the highly underrated Primal Fear. The choice would turn out to be one of those serendipitous instances where you accidentally stumble on a cultural artifact that will continue to affect you almost a decade later on.

I read this article yesterday on the 10th anniversary of Fight Club and it got me thinking about how much this film had an impact on me not only in the way it opened up my eyes to the work of its writer, director and lead actors but also how it spoke to me in a way that no film before it had.

I have always had a deep affinity for music that relates to my own experiences but until Fight Club I had never come across a film that so accurately captured what I was feeling and thinking at the time. In a pre-9/11-post-globalisation world I was beginning to question where exactly I fit into the social and political sphere and Fight Club let me know I was not alone in my disillusionment. I wasn't about to run out and join any underground boxing club/terrorist organisation but I definitely identified with the sentiment of the film.

"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war, our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

- Tyler Durden

Fight Club was to my university-self what Pinkerton was to my high-school-self - a piece of art that perfectly captured my state of mind. Even to this day a lot of the themes surrounding disillusionment, anti-consumerism and helplessness still resonate with me. Would I ever go as far as hit bottom in order to rebuild myself as a stronger, more enlightened person? Probably not. But the idea is not without its appeal.

And of course Fight Club gave birth to two of my great artistic loves: the beautifully subversive writing of Chuck Palahniuk, whose novel the film is based on, and the incredible film making of David Fincher who was last year nominated for a directorial Oscar for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. The former remains a must-buy author and the latter is yet to put a foot wrong on the Hollywood stage, despite the fairly shocking Alien³ (although I am curious to see what he does with the upcoming Facebook bio-pic The Social Network).

I'm often asked to name my favourite or top five films and, depending on my mood, the number one spot is usually fairly interchangeable. But the more I consider it the more I begin to realise that no other movie has had the profound impact of Fight Club. I could never have imagined the impact one DVD choice on an average Sydney day ten years ago would possibly have.

As a post script here are my Chuck Palahniuk and David Fincher recommendations:

Books You Should Read by Chuck Palahniuk
Fight Club - most of the movie's dialogue and narration is taken directly from the novel. And the ending is slightly different.
Invisible Monsters - About a model who loses her jaw in a freak accident and finds out people ignore her because she's disfigured
Choke - About a sexaholic who uses pity to get money out of unsuspecting good Samaritans
Haunted - Basically a book of short stories linked together by a story involving a writer's retreat. Possibly the most disturbing book I've ever read.
Rant - the brilliant story set in the near future about the "patient zero" for the next world plague told from the point of view of interviewees after his death.

Films You Should See by David Fincher
Fight Club - obviously the subject of this blog. Watch it with the commentary by Fincher, Edward Norton and Brad Pitt.
The Game - a highly underrated film where Michael Douglas' life becomes a massive thriller and he is unable to tell what is real and what is part of "the game".
Se7en - the cult classic about a serial killer starring Brad Pitt (again), Morgan Freeman, Gwyneth Paltrow and Kevin Spacey.
Panic Room - Jodi Foster kicking arse in this home invasion drama
Zodiac - the real life story of the Zodiac killer
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Brad Pitt (again) aging backwards and Cate Blanchett being beautiful

REUTERS: Vivek Prakash

There was energy in the air that night. Woops and spontaneous applause erupted from the houses in my neighbourhood as the results came in. Even the occasional illegal firework crackled in the night. I was on my way to a party and had managed to snaffle the last bottle of reasonably priced champagne at the local bottle shop (the clerk at the store couldn't quite believe the amount of people looking to celebrate). There was definitely a feeling that change was coming.

But I remained cynical even as the final votes were counted and everyone hugged each other when the victory was announced. I knew it wouldn't be long before the new Australian government would let us down just as much as the last one had. But I was happy and I was joyous and I was grateful. Because no matter what the future held the era of Howard's lies and fear mongering was at an end.

Kevin 07 had won the election.

And then true to form the new government let me down just as the old one had. They let me down on the environment. They let me down on indigenous affairs. They let me down on education, on health and everything else that I knew they would. But I consoled myself with the fact that I knew this was coming and at the end of the day anything was better than the perpetuated lies of the Howard government.

Then 78 Sri Lankans arrived off our shores and the old problems reared their ugly heads. Instead of dealing with the issue quickly and delicately the government panicked and did what Howard would do - let fear guide policy instead of common sense and civility. And they didn't even do it as cleverly as Howard - at least Johnny twisted the asylum seeker to his political advantage (even if it meant spinning a few more lies and half truths), Rudd hasn't even managed that.

78 Sri Lankan asylum seekers have been sitting on an Australian boat for almost 4 weeks now with no real solution in sight. I know there are bigger issues at play here than the well being of 78 people stuck on a boat and I know that whatever the final "solution" Rudd and Co come to on the problem will piss off at least one portion of the Australian public. But it saddens me that for the first time since his election, despite all the stumbles and falls, I can't really say "Well, Rudd may have stuffed this up but at least he's not Howard".

Last weekend I bought my first Ralph Magazine for about 2 years. I stopped reading magazines like Ralph and FHM after I realised they weren't appealing to me anymore. They'd always been crass and blokey but they also used to clever, funny and (dare I say it) subversive. However everything that I enjoyed about the lads mags (outside of the semi-naked women) slowly started to disappear until they became glorified pornos with a firm focus on attracting the lowest common denominator. Even when FHM relaunched itself late last year as a "classier" lads mag I couldn't see the appeal.

So what made me pick up this month's Ralph? It basically comes down to their choice of cover star - Miss Ricki-Lee Coulter.

Now let me get one thing straight: I am not actually a huge fan of Ricki-Lee. Her music is far too pop of me and, while she is an attractive woman, she's not really high up on my list of sexy celebs. But what makes her special, and what made me pick up the magazine, is that Ricki-Lee is the first size 14 to ever grace the cover of Ralph in its 10-15 year history. I thought as a self-professed lover of women with curves I should throw my financial support behind Ralph's decision in the hope that we start to see more shapely women gracing the media.

There has been a lot of in the news this past week about positive body images appearing in magazines and on television. An advisory group has presented Youth Minister Kate Ellis with a proposed code of conduct on body image for advertisers that would see full disclosure of "air brushing" included in all images. Model Sarah Murdoch has appeared on the cover of Women's Weekly without any retouching done to her flaws and wrinkles. Even the ABC's new Behind-The-News-For-Adults show Hungry Beast has done an investigation into the hypocrisy of women's magazines citing the most recent issue of cosmopolitan.

And while I support these endeavors I do believe that real change has to come from consumers, not from the media. I honestly believe that the people most responsible for women’s negative body image are women themselves - and therefore something only women can change.

I know the media is owned and operated by men. I know the fashion and beauty industries are also operated by men. But the woman's magazines in Australia that are the largest perpetuators of negative body image are edited, written and consumed in the most part by women. Women are making the decision of which ads make it into a magazine. Women are writing the articles aimed at looking younger and thinner. Women are choosing which of this season's fashions will be worn by which models in the fashion pages of these magazines.

I honestly believe that if men made the decisions we would be seeing a far greater diversity of body shapes and sizes in the media. It is a well documented fact that men, in general, don't judge women as being fat or thin. Rather, men tend to consider women with a 70% waist-to-hip ratio to be beautiful. This is regardless of size, be they a 16 or an 8. If you don't believe me take the example of two of Australia's longest running weekly "lads" mags - People and The Picture. Both have a popular "amateur" section where women of all shapes and body types are featured and revered (well, revered in the way that only soft porn can).

I think if we're really going to start changing media attitudes towards the female body we need to start with female consumers. Women need to start voting with their wallets and their convictions for a positive body image - the market will follow I assure you. Instead of buying magazines that advertise products or favour articles that promote a negative body image like your Cosmos and your Cleos try magazines like Frankie and Yen. Start buying products that don't use scare tactics ("Do you know one in four women think they sweat too much?") and start buying products that use positive messaging. And if you see Ricki-Lee or Myf Warhusrt or Claire Hooper or Sarah Murdoch or Juanita Phillips or any one of the beautiful over-size-10 women in Australia on the front cover of a men's or women's magazine buy it. Buy two. And three for your friends. And maybe then we'll see a real change.

Earlier this week I read this article claiming that the Large Hadron Collider, the world's largest particle acelerator, is being sabotaged from the future.

That's right. The future.

According to scientists Dr Holger Bech Nielsen and Dr Masao Ninomiya:

Maths proves that nature will "ripple backward through time" to stop the LHC before it can create the God particle, like a time traveller who goes back in time to kill his grandfather.

To me this theory as to why the damn thing keeps breaking is really the only one the makes sense. Don't worry about the delicate and complex science that has gone into creating the LHC, nature from the future is the obvious culprit. But I'm going to go one step further. I don't think it's nature that's rippling back in time. I think someone from the future has visited 2009 in a successful attempt to sabotage the LHC and prevent the apocalypse. Given that we didn't catch this time hopper in the act and the first rule of any time traveller is to not be detected (in case you change the course of history more than was required), I think we have all the evidence we need to prove my theory correct.

And I'm going to take it one step further still. I don't think this is the first time we've had visitors from the future. I think if Doctors Nielsen and Ninomiya did some more of their maths they'd find that the time stream has been rippling for longer even they could hypothesise. If you just look at recent history it's littered with events that shouldn't have gone the way they did. Don't believe me? What about these concrete examples:

1. No Weapons of Mass Destruction Found in Iraq

We have all this intelligence (Pictures of pipes! Assumptions!) that points to Iraq to be full to the brim with nukes, bio weapons and laser guns. But when we get there we can't find a single one. Is it really that much of a jump to blame their disappearance on robot or person sent back in time to prevent world war 3? Think about it

2. Global Warming

Scientists have been warning that we're going to run out of oil and coal since we started using oil and coal but most reasonable people haven't been listening. But when, out of no where, the planet starts warming the world's governments and corporations start clambering to get their hands on renewable energy. Who's to say a civilization in the future that has the power to travel back in time doesn't also have massive hole-in-the-atmosphere smashing devices to warm the planet and make it stop it's dependance on fossil fuels?

3. John Howard Losing the Seat of Bennelong

Just as the nation is heading towards a future where no one can afford things like education, health and housing and instead is spending it's time fighting in never-ending wars its most popular leader in a gazillion years loses his seat in parliament due to a changing of the electoral boundaries? Sounds a little too convenient and more like something that was orchestrated by people from the future.

4. My Parents Getting Together

My mum is from Glasgow. My Dad is from London. Yet they met, settled and raised a family in Alice Springs. The story is so unlikely that it can only mean that other forces were in play to get them together. Future forces. Think Marty McFly going back in time in the first Back to the Future film to ensure that his parents fell in love. Or Kyle Reese coming back in time to save Sarah Conner only to end up fathering the leader of the future resistance. Some grand future architect must have made sure my parents got together so that I would be born to (possibly) lead the armies of the future against the machines/aliens/people from even further in the future. Or maybe that's my sister's job, and I was just meant to write silly blogs about beer and movies.

5. The Black Eyed Peas Starting out as an Edgy Hip Hop Act But Ultimately Selling Themselves Out with Ringtone Friendly Pop Crap

I can't explain why the people from the future have influenced this but we just have to trust that they've prevented a major catastrophe by doing so.

So there you have it. The future people walk among us. What's next on the cards I wonder? Will they reveal K-Rudd as a reptilian-alien from the planet Zarrrr? Will they somehow prevent the next middle eastern conflict? Or will they successfully rename the spread-formally-known-as iSnack 2.0? Only time will tell...

As the weather warms up I am being frequently asked by my friends to recommend outdoor drinking establishments around Sydney. While I'd like to think this is because I have impeccable taste, I have a sneaking suspicion it's more to do with my reputation as a drinker.

So to save time I thought I'd document my favourite pubs with beer gardens, rooftops, pavement seating and balconies so I can just point the next person to ask to this blog. And then (hopefully) this will lead to further recommendations from my adoring readers which will have me discovering a new gem or two this summer.

So here we go: My guide to summer drinking.

The Rose Hotel - Chippendale



While hardly a hidden gem anymore, The Rose is still one of my all time favourite pubs in Sydney. A genuine mix of old-school suburban pub and artsy-wankery, The Rose has a quaint, half sheltered beer garden that has seen more than its fair share of my beer-buying money over the years. The atmosphere is relaxed (although it can get busy on a Saturday afternoon), the staff are friendly, the pizzas are amazing and the beers are cheap. If you've never been, do yourself a favour and stop in for a beer one sunny afternoon.

The Oaks - Neutral Bay



The jewel in the crown of North Shore pubs, The Oaks quickly became a favourite during my first year in Sydney. If you can get past the snobbish patrons, overpriced food and drinks and the horrible job they've done of refurbishing the old Tramway bar, you'll find the beer garden of this Neutral Bay institution the perfect place to while away a Sunday afternoon. The dappled light that filters through the sprawling oak tree in the middle of the beer garden is simply beautiful to behold.

The Glenmore Hotel - The Rocks



While the rooftop at The Glenmore Hotel is not much to look at its view just can't be beaten. The harbour bridge on one side, the opera house on the other and the city right in front of you, you really do feel like you're on top of the world. It also has the distinct advantage of being the current place of employment for Mitch, the barman from the Salisbury Hotel in Stanmore where I used to drink.

The Courthouse Hotel - Newtown



If you're a regular reader you'll already be well versed in my views on the Courthouse Hotel and its sudden rise in popularity. But despite how busy it gets, The Courty is still the best place in Newtown for a spot of outdoor drinking. And despite my dire predictions they are yet to renovate meaning it has maintained a lot of its atmosphere. On a Saturday or Sunday I would recommend arriving early to secure yourself a spot and then just kick back for the rest of the day.

Zanzibar - Newtown



A staple part of any good King Street pub crawl, Zanzibar leaves a lot to be desired as a drinking establishment. The floors are sticky, the music is terrible and the patrons are quite frankly a little scary. But if you can get past all of that and make your way to the rooftop you will be treated with one of the nicest places to drink in the Inner-West. In fact, it's easy to forget you're right in the middle of Newtown, with the hullabaloo of King Street somehow not making it over the high walls. I'd recommend getting here early as well as seating on the roof top is really limited.

The Erskineville Hotel - Erskineville



I only really stumbled across The Erko right before I moved away from Erskineville at the start of this year but I have to say the pavement seating out the front is a lovely place to partake in daytime drinking. It apparently has a beer garden but to be honest I've never seen it - I'd much prefer to people watch out the front. Seats are hard to come by due to the amount of regulars who take up position outside but I'd highly recommend at least trying. Plus they have >Barons on tap so you can't go far wrong.

The Warren View Hotel - Enmore



The Inner-West's best kept secret. All the dappled light of The Oaks and all the atmosphere of The Courty without any stress about finding a seat or being surrounded by wankers. They are currently renovating but it looks to me like most of what I like about this beer garden will be retained. In the past year I have already watched The Warren View increase in popularity so it won't be long before the Newtown and Enmore hipsters overrun the place, but right now it is the perfect spot to sit under the shade of the tree, sip a cold beer and relax.

So those are my picks for outdoor drinking in Sydney this summer. What about you? Do you have a favourite beer garden? Or maybe a rooftop you like to spend Sunday afternoons on? Let me know! I'd love to add more to my list.

Today is Ride to Work Day where thousands of Sydneysiders (and other Australians as well) dust off the Lycra, oil up their gears and peddle their way to the office in the name of exercise, green-transport and promoting cycling.

I don't have a bike so I celebrated the day in true Sydney cycling style - by almost getting run over by a cyclist while walking over a pedestrian crossing.

I'm all for cycling. It's one of the few sporting activities I really enjoy. I like that it's carbon neutral (well, after the bike in manufactured). I like that it's fast and efficient in a city of poor public transport and congested roads. I'll even go so far as to say that I support my bicycling comrades in petitioning for a more cycle friendly city even though I won’t venture out on two wheels myself until I can be assured that a north shore mother in her 4x4 beast won't mow me down in an effort to get her kids to school on time.

But I hate Sydney cyclists. Haaaaate them. More than I hate Sydney motorists (and that's saying something). It's because my life as a pedestrian has come under threat from cyclists blatantly breaking the road laws so often that I'm beginning to fear for my life every time I set foot in the street. It's because as an occasional motorist I have almost hit hundreds of cyclists who have run red lights, changed lanes without indicating, come at me on the wrong side of the road or not had lights after dark.

This morning's pedestrian crossing incident was just the latest in a long line of similar near misses. It's not like I stepped out onto the road without looking - I was halfway across when the cyclist came out from behind a car that had stopped for me and missed hitting me by about 30cm.

What gives cyclists the right to break the rules? What makes them feel so invincible that they think it will be fine to ignore a red light or cross multiple lanes of traffic without warning? I've heard all the arguments about Sydney not having enough cycle lanes and motorists not being considerate but given what I've experienced with cyclists I wouldn't be surprised to learn that most accidents involving them have been the cyclist's fault.

And it's not a case of "a few bad eggs" ruining the reputations of all cyclists. Every single friend of mine that cycles admits to ignoring road rules on a regular basis. If anything, bad eggs are the rule, not the exception.

So I've decided the next cyclist who almost hits me with their bike as they blatantly ignore a stop sign, red light or zebra crossing is getting pushed off their cycle and beaten in the street. I don't care if I have to chase the f**ker down (I have been running a lot after all), he or she is gonna hope they are wearing a helmet. There are laws I can ignore too.

So today is Ride to Work Day? It's going to be an interesting walk home...

For a happier account of Ride to Work Day check out this blog by my good friend mayela_delarue.

Ok, I'm hooked. I'll admit it. That's the first step right? Admitting it? It's been about 6 weeks but I think I can safely say I am a fully converted Apple geek. In fact I'm considering changing my name to iGareth.

People who know me will know that I'm a technological late adopter. When DVDs started coming out I was still buying movies on VHS. Even now I am resisting Blu-Ray. I didn't have a mobile phone until 2002. My first iPod was only a couple of years ago. I still prefer buying CDs to downloading. So while my friends have been raving about the ease of use and damn sexiness of Macs for some time I've only just dipped my toe into the Apple pool with the purchase of a Macbook Pro and iPod Classic.

Now I'm not going to get stuck into a PC vs. Mac (or Windows vs. MacOS) debate here because I'm really not informed enough. I just know I like Mac because it's more intuitive, faster and I don't have to tinker with it (or buy heaps of add-on programs) in order for it to do what I want it to.

By far my favourite feature of my new Mac products is the Genius function in both iTunes and on the iPod. For those of you who haven't been exposed to Genius it basically serves two functions:

Firstly it looks at all the music in your library and then makes suggestions of artists you may like based on the artists you already like. I haven't really taken full advantage of this yet but I can tell it's going to introduce me to a lot of music I wouldn't otherwise hear.

Secondly Genius will build a playlist of 25 similar songs from your library based on a single song choice. For instance, if you think to yourself "I'm in a Paul Simon kind of mood" you can select Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes and spits back a Genius playlist containing songs that all fit very well with the Graceland classic.

But being the music nerd that I am, I really want to know how it works. How does Genius know what songs to put together? Is it based on genre? On what songs and artists are already together on compilations or playlists in your library? Or is there an elaborate network of databases in Apple-land somewhere where they link every possible artist with other artists in iTunes?

In an effort to try and deconstruct I'm going to conduct an experiment right here and now in this very blog. I'm going to pick a song, ask Genius to give me its 25 song playlist and try and work out what the connection between all the tracks is.

So the song I'm choosing (and track one of the playlist) is one of my favourite at the moment:

1. Little Lion Man - Mumford and Sons

And the Genius results are:

2. Sally - Johnny Flynn and the Sussex Wit
Johnny Flynn makes sense as he's part of the same UK Anti-Folk scene. Plus Johnny Flynn is one of Mumford's top friends on their Myspace page.

3. We Almost Had a Baby - Emmy the Great
Another UK Anti-Folk artist makes the list. Emmy's tie to Mumford and Sons is a little more tenuous but they're still artists making similar music from the same part of the world.

4. Beating - Noah and the Whale
With Noah and The Whale as the forth Anti-Folk artist on the list it would be safe to assume that Genre plays a big part in what Genius chooses. The other connection is that Laura Marling is the backup singer for Noah and the Whale and Marcus Mumford from Mumford and Sons is the backup singer/instrumentalist for Laura Marling's solo work.

5. Lilac Breeze - Eels
I have no idea why there's an Eels song on this list. It definitely fits the tone of the playlist but as far as I know there's no connection. Maybe it's because of the sheer volume of Eels songs I have in my library (meaning that Genius will almost always include one on a playlist)? Or maybe it's a timing thing with the new Eels album and the new Mumford and Sons album coming out around the same time? Who knows?

6. If You've Got the Money - Jamie T
So while Jamie T isn't really in the same scene as Mumford and Sons he is responsible for breaking Laura Marling to the wider music audience. In fact I have a feeling Jamie T, Laura Marling and Mumford and Sons are all on the same record label.

7. Blindsided - Bon Iver
Such a beautiful song. And kind of folky as well so this is probably another genre choice by Genius.

8. Blue Lips - Regina Spektor
Regina is considered part of the US Anti-Folk scene so it's not a huge stretch that she's on this list. A little odd as I don't really consider her folk and she's not a pom like the majority of these artists but it still works.

9. Bella - Angus & Julia Stone
The first Australian artist to make the list. I think again this is a genre pick as A&J are pretty much rooted in the Folk end of the alternative music spectrum.

10. No Children - The Mountain Goats
I'm not sure you can class The Mountain Goats as Anti-Folk but they have definitely been described as "Heavy Metal Folk". This track fits really well with the rest of the playlist so far.

11. I Stand Corrected - Vampire Weekend
I can't tell you what the connection is here. It's not genre. I don't think its country of origin (VW are American right?). It's not year of release. This track is not too out of place with the general vibe of the playlist but it is an odd choice.

12. Old Soul Song (For the New World Order) - Bright Eyes
More folk (although this is nu-folk or alt-folk or something. Who cares, it's all folk). I am beginning to suspect genre plays the main part in choosing a playlist with Genius.

13. Just a Song About Ping Pong - Operator Please
WTF????? Operator Please? Australian Alt-Pop? I have no idea why Genius chose this song. It doesn't sit well with the rest of the tracks and has no connection that I can see with Mumford and Sons other than they are both artists played by triple j.

14. White Blank Page - Mumford and Sons
I think it's pretty obvious why this is on the list. Genius always chooses at least one other song by the same artist.

15. Your Only Doll - Laura Marling
I've already talked about Laura's connection with Mumford and Sons so it's not a surprise she appears on the playlist. My only other comment is that this is a terrible song for a playlist considering it has a hidden track at the end of it (Alas I Cannot Swim) so there's a big gap of silence between the two.

16. 5 Years Time - Noah and the Whale
See track 4.

17. Absentee - Emmy the Great
See track 3.

18. Keep the Car Running - Arcade Fire
Another I-don't-know-why-it's-on-here-but-it-works song. Not the same genre or country but definitely a song the "goes" with the rest. Maybe it's because both bands have violinists?

19. The Prayer - Bloc Party
The second WTF song. The connection has to be the English one. Why else would Bloc Party feature on this playlist?

20. Re: Stacks - Bon Iver
See track 7.

21. Laughing With - Regina Spektor
See track 8.

22. Here We Go Again - Angus & Julia Stone
See track 9.

23. Little Yellow Spider - Devendra Banhart
I don't think you can get anymore Anti-Folk than Devendra Banhart. I’m still not sure I actually like this track but it fits really nicely with the rest of the songs on this list.

24. Prize Fighter - Eels
See track 5

25. Walcott - Vampire Weekend
See track 11

So the verdict? Obviously genre and possibly country of origin play a part in what Genius chooses for a playlist. But the actual formula of why it chooses some songs and not others? No idea. Not a clue. All I know is I'm hooked.

You may remember my Open Letter to Richard Kingsmill that I posted on this very blog detailing my problems with triple j's current crop of announcers. As expected Richard never replied (like he was ever going to...) and the letter was never published on his triple j message board.

But in the time between that post and this one there have been a couple of really interesting articles published about the j's that I thought I'd share with you.

Firstly, there is this essay by Ben Eltham that looks into the love-hate relationship people have with triple j and the station's place in the cultural sphere, especially in rural Australia. I agree with a lot with what this essay has to say and it's definitely one of the most interesting pieces I've read on the subject.

You can also listen to a podcasted interview with Richard Kingsmill by Ben here.

Finally, there's a really insightful article again interviewing Richard Kingsmill here that covers a lot of the criticism people have of triple j (including the diverse opinions on Sam Simmons) and touches briefly on Kingsmill's reactions to the now defunct "Split triple j into Two Competing Stations" facebook group.

These articles address the concerns about the station's playlist more than the problems with its announcers (which is more of what I care about) but they're all very well researched and written. Check them out if you're at all interested. Or if you're too lazy to click on the links above I'll re-publish my favourite paragraph from Ben Eltham's essay that I think truly captures my feelings on the current triple j breakfast team:

"Despite the talent gathered together in the ABC studio in Ultimo, the Hilltop Hoods interview of 28 May 2009 was not a particularly noteworthy piece of radio. McDougall and Hardy riffed with Suffa and Pressure, the Hilltop Hoods rappers, about the resemblance of their microphones to phalluses; Hardy made a joke about ‘brewer’s drop’, while Buck tried to draw the conversation back to the Hilltop Hoods’ headline performance at triple j’s One Night Stand in Sale. About the best that could be said for the interview was that it was diverting, perhaps mildly amusing. This is the sort of moment on triple j that so annoys certain musicians and fans."

In the past few months (except when I have had an injury) I've been filling my lunch breaks at work donning very attractive sportswear and running between The Rocks where my Sydney office is situated through to the botanic gardens via the Cahill Walk (which stretches over Circular Quay). I used to try and run across the Harbour Bridge but it's just far far too popular and other runners get in the way. Sometimes I run with other people from the office and sometimes I run alone. The Cahill Walk is about 1.4km which, when you consider I usually run through the botanic gardens and around past the Opera House before heading back, means I'm probably averaging about 4kms per outing. I don't run the entire way (I'm not that fit) but the more I do it the further I get, and I would reckon I'm running at least twice as much as I'm walking. I also usually stop to do crunches, pushups and dips. I average this run about 3-4 times a week.

Before I started running this route I was part of a twice-weekly office bootcamp. Before that I had a Personal Trainer for 6 months. Before that my exercise routine consisted of walking the one block uphill from the pub to my house.

To say my exercise regime is fair conspicuous would be a fair call. Considering almost everyday I'm baring my pasty white legs to the office before a run and returning a red, sweating mess, people would have the right to assume that exercise is something I enjoy, is exactly how I would like to be spending my lunch break.

As we come into "event" season in Sydney the question I get asked more and more is: "You like running, are you running in the City to Surf/Sydney Running Festival/Half Marathon/etc? If not, why not?"

It's a fair question. Completely understandable. I usually politely say "no" and mumble some sort of feeble excuse involving a social clash.

But the truth? I hate running. Haaaaaaate it. With a passion. In fact I hate most forms of exercise except walking (I'll happy trudge through the bush all day and not complain, even enjoy myself). I only run because a) it's cheaper than going to a gym and b) it's something I can do in my lunch break so I don't have to commit any of my "precious" social life to exercise.

Those people who have known me for years are probably stunned that I exercise this at all. It's just not something that's ever inspired me. i just can't get my head around people who enjoy the burn, the sweat, the jock-itch that comes with forcing your heart rate up to a level it can't maintain for long without shutting down completely.

I run because if I didn't then I would probably be in a whole world of medical problems. If God, in her wisdom, had decided to let humans evolve to a point where we didn't store energy as fat in case of the lean times, then I would happily spend my life couch-bound. But she didn't, so to go on enjoying life I need to balance it out with an hour of hell every day or so.

I exercise because I have a history of diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure in my family (that's right ladies, when you add those to the red hair gene why would you want to breed with anyone else?). I exercise because I'm overweight and I aim to never be medically referred to as morbidly obese. I exercise because I enjoy good food and good beer and good wine and I would prefer to suffer a little in order to not give these things up. I exercise because my beautiful girlfriend could probably beat me in a fight.

So I am going to keep pounding the pavement for the foreseeable future (at least until the high-impact nature of the exercise causes me damage). And next time someone asks me to join the office football team or run in their charity fun-run I'll politely decline and tell them "Sorry, I don't actually like exercise. But I went for a run today so let's go grab a beer".

Last weekend I managed to catch an advance screening of my new favourite Manic-Pixie-Dream-Girl movie (500) Days of Summer. If you're a fan of movies like Garden State or High Fidelity then I highly recommend you get your arse down to the local cinema and see this flick. It may look like a soppy romantic comedy but it's bursting with quirk and more Zooey Deschanel than is recommended safe for healthy consumption. Still not convinced? Then I present to you:

The Top 5 Reasons (500) Days of Summer is Better Than Real Life*
*the following (hopefully) contains no spoilers

5. Even Dead-End Jobs are Quirky and Cool

Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) doesn't have much going for him. His friends are lovable losers who drink too much and say inappropriate things at inappropriate times. He's single and useless at chatting up girls. He has a dead-end job writing greeting cards. He owns one too many cardigans. Wait a second. Rewind there for a moment. Tom's dead-end job is "writing greeting cards"???????? That's an awesome job! I want that job! How much fun would that be? Being paid to come up with silly poems about love or bad Dad-jokes about getting drunk and aging. I've had dead-end jobs. Dead-end jobs are things like picking and packing boxes in a warehouse or slicing bread in a bakery. Not writing greeting cards. I don't care how much they dress the job down in the movie, "writing greeting cards" is still a far more interesting way to earn a crust than about bazillion other jobs.

4. Everyone Seems to Be Dressed By the Creative-Director of Frankie Magazine

I try my best when it comes to fashion. I really do. I have rebelled against the stripe-and-check brigade by investing in a bunch of paisley and spotted shirts. I own 2 waistcoats, one of which is genuine vintage leather. I listen to the The Shins. But no matter how hard I try I will never look as effortlessly cool as the characters in (500) Days of Summer. I've been struggling against taking my "vintage-casual-prep" look to the next level but after seeing this film I want to go out and buy my weight in skinny ties and vests. And high-waisted pants? They're something they openly mock. But after seeing Zooey Deschanel strut around this flick with her waistband heading towards her breasts, I actually kind of like them now.

3. Karaoke Bars are Cool

There is a circle of Hell reserved especially for the creators, owners and enjoyers of karaoke bars. I've been to karaoke bars. They're dark, impersonal places that smell vaguely of vomit. The "stage" usually consists of a squealing mic and giant video screen projecting bad video clips of people walking along beaches and having picnics. And it is an unwritten rule that despite the massive choice of songs at a karaoke bar, you're only actually allowed to sing songs by Bon Jovi, the B52s or from the Grease soundtrack (preferably in their mega mix form). I have been booed and dragged off stage for picking outside of these rules - it wasn't pretty. But in the alternative reality of (500) Days of Summer karaoke bars suddenly become somewhere I want to spend my weekend. The massive screen is replaced by a vintage painting. The bar is decked out in soft lighting and couches. There's not an alcopop in sight. And the best thing? When Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) breaks into a rendition of Here Comes Your Man by The Pixies everyone applauds. If I tried the same thing at Karaoke World I'd be dragged out the back into a dark alley and beaten. If only we could live in a world where the Pixies are an acceptable karaoke choice. We can but dream.

2. The Wisest Person You Know is Your Ten Year Old Kid Sister

Hollywood has a history of presenting wise-beyond-their-age kids and teenagers who step in at just the right moment to offer their sagely advice. (500) Days of Summer is definitely no exception with Tom getting all the relationship advice he needs from his younger sister Rachel. But, quite frankly, kids aren't that smart. When my sister was 10 I bought her an ice-cream and then for the next 6 months convinced her to buy me things because "I bought her stuff like ice-cream all the time". My sister is not stupid by any stretch of the imagination. She was just naive and easy to manipulate. Sure, I'd probably go to her for relationship advice now but she's 26 and far more capable than she was 15 years ago.

1. Zooey Deschanel Ends up as Tom's Ex-Girlfriend

I'm not spoiling anything by telling you Tom and Summer don't end up together. It's in the title for crying out loud! But there is a flaw in this plot point: if you or I were dating Zooey Deschanel we would HOLD ON AND NEVER LET GO. There is no conceivable way in the entire world that you would let Zooey Deschanel become an ex-girlfriend. None. Zip. Nada. How do I know? My Beautiful Girlfriend looks like the biologically impossible love-child of Zooey Deschanel and Regina Spektor and I plan to NEVER LET GO.

So there you go. Treat yourself and go and see the film - hopefully you'll love it just as much as me.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote this blog about my idea of patriotism and my rejection of nationalism. It didn't really score many comments (it wasn't about music or religion...) but an ex music teacher of mine did leave this on the Facebook version:

Gareth, you might want to write a blog about how growing up in Alice Springs gives kids a tremendous advantage in life, not the least being the understanding you all have about our indigenous people. Then there are all the other fantastic learning experiences that were just part of life for you all. As an adult in Alice, I really got to know what 'community' means, and it’s been so helpful to me since living in the 'big smoke' - well, fairly 'big'! But maybe you just did, with today's blog.

I've been mulling this over since. Am I really advantaged by having grown up in a town that is close to 50% indigenous? Has Alice Springs shaped my opinions that much?

I remember distinctly pontificating to my mother about how accepting I was of other races, how I couldn't understand people with prejudice.

"Do you have any Aboriginal friends?" she asked at the time. "Any Muslim friends? What about Asian friends? Are you really as accepting as you think you are?"

She was right. At the time all of my close friends were middle class, white Australians. I certainly knew aboriginal kids in my class at school, but not a single one I would have invited over to my place to play Sonic the Hedgehog - I just wasn't close with any of them. In my own subconscious way I had drawn a line in the sand and made a choice about whom I would make friends with based on race.

Since that time I've had aboriginal friends. I've had Muslim friends and Asian friends and Jewish friends and Middle Eastern friends and redhead friends. I'm not going to pretend I don't make assumptions about people because of their race or religion - we all do, it's human nature. But my mother did teach me that no matter how much someone believes they hold no prejudice, deep down it is always there - it just up to us to move beyond it and get a deeper understanding of someone else before making a sweeping statement or assuming the worst.

So it was my Mum (and of course my dad) who shaped my view of the world. But Alice Springs definitely gave me a unique insight into indigenous people, and their problems, their struggles, their history and their future. It's the same insight that gets me frustrated watching pollies in Canberra or academics on Q+A giving their two cents about how aboriginal people live. I would never pretend to call myself an expert on aboriginal issues but I have a perspective that a lot of other Australians will never get or understand.

So yeah, thanking my unique upbringing in a Telegraph town in the centre of Australia is definitely blog worthy. And probably would have been a blog that saw the light of day before I lost my faith.

Two very specific events have happened in Alice Springs recently that have made me question the white culture in my hometown.

The first was the news that at the start of August five white men aged between 19 and 24 bashed and killed an Aboriginal man without provocation. The men were drunk. They were all charged. They were born and bred Alice Springs boys from "good" families that had taken the life of a man based on his race.

So you have to ask yourself - if Alice Springs gives its kids such a unique perspective on indigenous Australia how do we get to a point where a man is dead for no reason? How can a town on one hand produce people like my friends who actively seek to better the lives of aboriginal people and on the other hand produce such a destructive force.

I don't want to go into the details about the case (if you're interested you can read a shared opinion on my friends blog here) but I just don't understand how this could even happen.

And then today I read that a man is selling White Power t-shirts from his car in the centre of town. This is a man that is described as someone who has "grown up in the central Australian town". Where has this hate come from? Why is it not surprising that his swastika emblazoned paraphernalia is being touted as popular with "police … nurses [and] school teachers".

I'm proud of my Centralian heritage. I'm proud of both the white and aboriginal (and Afghan, and Chinese...) heritage of my town. And if I could have a choice I wouldn't have grown up anywhere else. But I am scared my story is becoming more and more scarce. That the racist undercurrent of The Alice is gaining prominence. It doesn't help that the proliferation of private schools in the town has led to a racially divided education system. It doesn't help that the intervention has driven more and more underprivileged indigenous people from the settlements into town adding fuel to the fire that black people are the "cause of Alice Springs’ problems". Whatever "tremendous advantage" kids in Central Australia had is very quickly being whittled away.

I am lucky. I am advantaged. I have my prejudices, I make my unfounded judgments about people. We all do. But that doesn't make me a racist. And I'd like to think that I am more accepting, less judgmental than your average Australian. Whether that's as a result of growing up in Central Australia or whether it's a result of growing up with my parents, I guess I'll never know. I just hope that Alice Springs can move past these recent developments and start to understand what it means to be a community.

On Tuesday morning this week I was treated to the unexpected news Disney had acquired Marvel Entertainment (including Marvel Comics) for $4.7 Billion. The news made headlines on most of the online news sites (except strangely SMH) and even copped a mention on Sunrise (albeit during their "Entertainment News" section).

In typical style the Fanboy community went nuts with most commentators and message-board trolls proclaiming the death of comics as we know them. Their biggest complaint that was that Disney would "water-down" Marvel's autonomy with their family friendly agenda. A Disney Marvel would mean no more decapitations in Deadpool comics, no more berserker rages in Wolverine and definitely no more boobs.

As usual I think the fanboys are so caught up in their world of spandex and catchphrases that they have completely missed the point:

DISNEY DOESN'T CARE ABOUT COMICS

I'm sorry if this comes as a shock to fanboys everywhere but it's true. Disney didn't buy Marvel so they could get into the business of comic-book publishing. Disney is a multi-billion dollar business - why would they give a shit about comics which must only bring in a few million a year. I can guarantee that from a comic publishing perspective nothing will change at Marvel as a result of this deal outside of a greater marketing budget or a stronger focus on the female demographic.

Disney didn't buy Marvel so they could control stories. They bought Marvel for the characters, and more specifically, the multimedia and licensing dollars that are going to come from these characters. Disney doesn't care what 500,000 fanboys think about the latest Green Goblin story in this month’s issue of Spider-man. They care about how many Marvel characters they can turn into movies, cartoons, video games and most importantly merchandise.

In fact, I think it's safe to say that Disney will use the comic publishing side of the Marvel business as an "ideas factory" - a safe place where characters, stories and concepts can be tested before being released on the wider public. If anything, the deal will allow Marvel Comics to focus less on making money and more on developing interesting stories and worlds. hell, Marvel comics can operate at a loss and Disney won't care as long as they can put the Fantastic Four on a lunch box that millions of kids will buy.

Disney + Marvel = Freedom. Freedom to tell new and exciting stories. Freedom to let creators run wild. Freedom to open up the fun of comics to new audiences at theme parks and Disney Stores worldwide.

There are 2 precedents for the claim that Disney won't interfere with Marvel Comics.

Firstly, DC Comics have been owned by Time-Warner for years now and in that time we've seen a proliferation of high concept stories, "indie" style adult books and a line of comics that's focused on quality over the bottom line.

Secondly, does anyone remember a film called Pulp Fiction. Which was produced by Miramax? Which is owned by Disney? A company owned by Disney still has the autonomy to create great art without interference of the "Family" lobby. Pulp Fiction has been credited as the first Disney movie to contain an anal rape scene. I doubt Disney will care too much if Wolverine pops his claws into a bad guy every now and then.

So until Disney decides to have Hannah Montana as Spider-man's new girlfriend - MAKE MINE MARVEL!

P.S. If you want more info on the Disney/Marvel takeover or feel like laughing at fanboys on the message boards check out the related stories on Ain't It Cool News and Newsarama.

I always spend my Monday's listening to the boys on the Favourite Five podcast and then compiling mental lists of my own top five of that week's subject. I have to restrain myself from turning this blog into a weekly top five for the pure fact that it would bore the shit out of my readers and, quite frankly, could never really be as funny (or potentially racist) as the Favourite Five guys (although avid readers would know that occasionally I submit to temptation and post a top five list - I am not perfect after all).

A couple of weeks ago the boys took us on a journey into their top five favourite song lyrics of all time. As a sucker for musical lists I started thinking about my own top five but I love so many bands, so many songs and so many phrases in those songs I doubt I could ever settle on just five.

Then last night I saw Ben Folds solo at the Sydney Opera House and I realised how much I admire the man as a lyricist. Of the four major artists that have shaped my musical development (Ben Folds, Dave Matthews, Eels and Weezer) I connect most with Ben's words and the way he tells a story with his songs.

So i thought I'd share with you seven of my favourite lyrics from songs written by Ben Folds (five just isn't enough). This is by no means a definitive list (I'll finish writing this and a day later realise what I've missed) but they are defiantly some of my all-time favourites. They're also not necessarily my favourite Ben Folds songs - just the lyrics that I love the most.

7. From: The Luckiest - Rockin' the Suburbs
Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away
I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know

Who would use the example of 2 people dying within days of each other as an example of love? Even Ben admits that it's an odd way to express his feelings but somehow it's also the best way. For a man criticised by ex-girlfriends for not being able to write a good love song, the man can sure put some pretty words together. The Luckiest may well be one of the sweetest love songs ever written.

6. From: Fred Jones Part 2 - Rockin' the Suburbs
There was no party, there were no songs
'Cause today's just a day like the day that he started
No one is left here that knows his first name
And life barrels on like a runaway train
Where the passengers change
They don't change anything
You get off, someone else can get on

The second song featuring the character of Fred Jones (the first being Cigarette), this tells the story of a man who is retiring from a world that has forgotten him. I love the imagery of the train in this lyric - for someone who works 9 to 5, 5 days a week, it's very easy to connect with the idea that who you are can become less important than what you do.

5. From: You Don't Know Me - Way to Normal
I wanna ask you: Do you ever sit and wonder,
It’s so strange
That we could be together for
So long, and never know, never care
What goes on in the other one’s head?
Things I’ve felt but I’ve never said
You said things that I never said
So I’ll say something that I should have said long ago

What I love about this lyric is it's not really musical. The syncopation of the song turns the lyric into music, but by itself it could very well be a line in a book or babbled by a character in a movie. It takes a very rare talent who is able to not let the music dictate what they are trying to say and instead fit the notes around a sentence. Sure, there's a little rhyming in the verse but essentially this lyric wouldn't be out of place in a Hugh Grant movie or Nick Hornby novel. And it achieves exactly what it needs to: it sets up the premise of the song that two people who have a committed relationship can, at times, not really know each other.

4. From: Gracie - Songs for Silverman
You nodded off in my arms watching TV
I won't move you an inch even though my arm's asleep

I think this lyric just completely captures love. Ben has written a song for each of his Children, Still Fighting It for his son and Gracie for his daughter. While I think the former is the superior song (Gracie feels a little like Ben went "shit, I better write a song for her too otherwise I'll get in trouble") but this one line completely sums up what love means - the lengths one person will go to keep the other safe. It doesn't matter that in this case it's the love of a father for his daughter - it could be equally applied to the love between a man and woman (or man and man, or woman and woman ... you get the point).

3. From: Late - Songs for Silverman
Elliott, man, you played a fine guitar
And some dirty basketball
The songs you wrote
Got me through a lot
Just wanna tell you that

When Michael Jackson died recently I was amazed at the outpouring of public grief for the man. I understand loving a musician or idol but I can't really fathom being that distraught over the death of someone they really didn't know. It got me thinking how I would react to the passing of one of my musical heroes like Ben Folds. I think Ben sums it up best in his ode to the late Elliot Smith - all he really knew about the man was that he was a great guitarist and a dirty basketball player (the only time they met they played a game of one on one). But at the end of the day what mattered most is that Elliot's songs got Ben through a lot, the same way Ben's songs have got me through a lot.

2. From: Best Imitation of Myself - Ben Folds Five
I feel like a quote out of context
Withholding the rest
So I can be for you what you want to see
I got the gesture and sound
Got the timing down
It's uncanny, yeah, you think it was me
Do you think I should take a class
To lose my southern accent
Did I make me up, or make the face till it stuck
I do the best imitation of myself

I don't like this lyric for any specific reason except that it has fantastic imagery. The idea that one of your skills is doing the best imitation of yourself - that the person people see, or want to see is not the real you. I also like the idea of doing a class to lose your accent so you sound more like you.

1. From: Evaporated - Whatever and Ever Amen
Blind man on a canyon's edge
of a panoramic scene
or maybe I'm a kite
that's flying high and random
dangling a string
Or slumped over in a vacant room
head on a stranger's knee
I'm sure back home
they think I've lost my mind

Considering Ben's lyrics are mostly very literal it's funny that my favourite song (and favourite lyric) is so ... metaphorical? I'm not sure exactly what it means - at the time of release people were more interested in the subtext in Brick to be bothered looking into the meaning of any of the other songs on the album, but I like to imagine it represents freedom. I just think this is absolutely beautiful.

Have you ever seen the movie Four Rooms? If you haven't, that's OK, I still like you. I'm sure you can get it out next time you're at the DVD shop. The premise is pretty simple - four separate stories that happen in four separate rooms of a hotel on a single night. Each story is written and directed by a different director (in Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez) so each has a unique look and feel.

Being home for everyday of the past 2 weeks has opened up a few of the stories in my very own apartment building. I'm not sure if they're interesting, funny or gory enough to have been directed by the above directors but I thought I'd share them with you.

If I leave all the window shades and internal doors open in my apartment I can see the Inner West train line from my bathroom. I've looked out of the train on the way home and decided that it goes past the apartment building too fast for anyone to seriously see in. But almost every time I walk naked into the bathroom I think "who can really see me?"

When I water my plants in the morning some of the water seeps out of the drainage holes in the plant pots and trickles off the balcony. The water generally hits the balcony below ours but I'm not sure the guy who lives down there knows or cares. He's odd. There is always a strong, starchy smell coming from the door of his apartment (kind of like the smell of boiling potatoes) and he listens to the radio (mainly the races) really loud. I know someone lives there because you can occasionally smell cigarettes as well.

In one of the adjoining segments of our building lives a Muslim family who love to scream at each other. I know they're Muslim because of the headscarves. I know they are a family because of the screaming matches.

I have a funny feeling the next-door neighbour is a drug dealer. My evidence is as follows: 1) His door buzzes at all hours of the night (we can hear this through our bedroom wall); 2) in the weeks I have had off there has I have watched a steady stream of people visit his apartment. One of them looked like a prostitute; 3) During the day there is a humming of machinery (hydroponic lamps perhaps?) coming from his door (although I did sneak a peak in today and it looks as though he's renovating his kitchen or bedroom). I don't think it's a hard drug that he's selling - there's no junkies hanging around - probably just pot or at worst cocaine (a hard drug, I know, but not one that usually attracts junkie customers).

At least two people in the building have cats that they walk on a leash. When my beautiful girlfriend first mentioned that we could get an "inside cat" and take it out on a leash for exercise I laughed in her face. Now that I have seen it in real life I know it exists. I still laugh.

The barrister at the local coffee shop is a fairly funky, butch lesbian. I feel in the last 2 weeks we have developed a nice bit of banter where I try and be pleasant and she comes back at me with dry sarcasm. An example of our most recent exchange:

Me: Good morning, how are you?
Her: Hot, bothered and tired. How are you?
Me: Not too bad actually.
Her: Yet something else we don't have in common.

Maybe I should go to the other cafe in the area where the coffee is terrible but the barrister flirts with me?

Dear Archie,

You may not remember me. I haven't been around much since I was a kid and my Aunty Morag slipped me an anthology of your adventures to keep me entertained while the adults had a dinner-and-cards night. I know you have a lot of fans but to be honest I never really connected much with your brand of wholesome humour and fifties-america themed hijinks.

But I've always had a soft spot for you, mainly because of your on-again-off-again romances with the beautiful Betty and Veronica. I mean despite the constant headache of having to juggle the two best friends you managed to o what no other ginger-nutted, high school geek has ever managed - attract the constant attention of not one but two of the hottest girls in school. You never settled on one, always kept your options open. Truly a man to aspire to

You eventually had to choose though. That goes without saying. We can't all be players forever. But you can imagine my horror when I discovered you'd made your choice, that you've finally popped the question to the one girl no one wanted you to settle on - Veronica Lodge.

Seriously dude, you chose Veronica? You had a choice between Betty and Veronica and you chose Veronica? I am partial to brunettes myself, but that doesn't mean I'll settle for a bitch over a beauty.

Let's break it down. If we look past Veronica's looks what have we got?

• A woman whose family is so rich she's never had to do a thing for herself


• A woman that has treated you like dirt since the moment she first sprouted boobs


• A woman who is probably crawling with disease after various hookups with Reggie Mantle (I'd hate to guess where he's been) not to mention any number of other men in Riverdale


• A woman who is so high maintenance even her own parents cringe at the thought of her next extravagance

On the flip side there's Betty Cooper, the wholesome, down to earth, girl-next door with the body of a model and smile that could sink ships. Are you a fool? Have you been so blinded by Veronica's satan like powers that you are willing to make the biggest mistake of your life? You would trade a life of happiness, happiness and (assumed) mutual sexual experimentation with Betty to shack up with this succubus?

It's not too late. You're not married yet. You can still see the errors of your ways and get out before the contract is signed. Please, for the sake of men everywhere, do not marry Veronica Lodge. You'll regret it for the rest of your life.

Yours in Mateship
Gareth

WRITER'S NOTE: It has come to my attention that Archie's proposal to Veronica took place in a "flash forward" comic and is not set in stone. It has also come to my attention that Archie is a fictional character so is unlikely to read my letter.

I know I've promised a blog everyday of my 2 weeks off but to be honest I've been caught up birthday present shopping and hair cutting today (anyone who has seen my hair will know how long that would have taken) so instead of a witty "top 5 list" or important piece of social commentary I thought I'd share some interesting links to things I've been looking at online recently*.

I've been increasingly interested in people who are using the anonymity of the internet to share parts of themselves and in turn create great art. PostSecret where people send in postcards containing a single secret about themselves is probably the most famous example of this. I've also been really getting into The Lives Of Others, a blog that accepts and posts anonymous submissions. And no, I haven't submitted to either.

Long term readers will remember my declaration of belief from November last year. Well, you can test the validity and consistency of your beliefs with the Battleground God quiz on Philosophersnet.com. Finally a quiz that is actually interesting!

I'm still checking out 27b/6 which is easily one of the funniest blogs on the net. And while we're on the subject of pimping sites I've pimped before, if you're not listening to the Favourite Five podcast every Monday you damn well should be. Listen to it online or download from iTunes.

I know I'm well behind the bandwagon here but I've just recently gotten into watching the lectures on TED. For the uninitiated, TED is a series of inspiring, beautiful and funny lectures on Technology, Entertainment and Design. The calibre of lecturers is astounding, from Richard Branson to Al Gore to JJ Abrams to Tony Robbins to Gordon Brown. My favourite so far has been from web comedian Ze Frank - simply hilarious.

I think I'll leave it there. Hope this gets your nerd juices flowing. I promise a more interesting blog tomorrow!

*not porn. Sorry.

I hate how patriot is a bad word in this country. I hate how it conjures up images of a shirtless, southern cross tattooed, beer swilling bogans wearing our national flag like a cape. I hate how proclaiming your love for this country, or even identifying yourself as an "Aussie" pigeonholes you as a racist. The fine line between nationalism and patriotism in this country has been blurred which in itself is a scary thought.

But I'm going to put all this aside to just come right out and say it: I am a patriot.

There is so much that makes me proud about this country. There is so much I identify with. I reject the idea that we need to identify a "typical Australian" as this just leads to alienation and stereotyping. But I do believe there is an Australian spirit that permeates our art, our music, our literature, our very culture, which is tangible and uniquely Australian.

During the Top Half Folk Festival this year my beautiful girlfriend and I had a running joke that every Australian folk song was about drovers. While this is far from the truth (some are about swaggies too), it does capture part of this Australian spirit. The fact that the majority of Australians live in urban centres does not stop us from mythologising the rural experience. There are still hundreds (probably thousands) of young Australians who are attracted to the romance and promise of the bush and the prospect of forging a new life from the hardship of the land. It helps that jobs like mustering pay well too.

The modern Australian spirit is tied to this romance of the bush, this idea of building a new life out of the raw materials of the earth whether it likes it or not. Our passion for travel, our quest for knowledge, our sustained belief that if we put our mind to it anything can be achieved is all tied into the stories of Clancy of the Overflow or The Man from Snowy River. Ours is a classless society where the lowliest of people can rise up, tame the brumby and become a legend.

There is also the overriding Australian spirit that stems from our immigrant roots. This is what I've never gotten about the nationalist political parties or rioting, boozed up youths in our beach suburbs - you don't have to look far into the past to discover that we're all immigrants.

I myself am the son of immigrants (or migrants? Or emigrants? I always get mixed up between the meanings of the three). Both of my parents grew up in the UK. Both moved to Australia in the 70s. Both have been naturalised and identify themselves as Australians - and both have lived longer in Australia than they ever lived in the UK.

I'm not going to pretend that I have had the same experience as the children of immigrant parents from countries other than the UK but I do believe that coming from somewhere else is very much part of what makes us Australian. This idea that you can make a better life in a sunburnt country at the bottom of the world gives us all a shared history and is intrinsically bound to the Australian spirit. I feel proud that we are the kind of country that people want to come to to start a new life. As a nation we're only just 100 years old. As a colony we're not much older. We're too young to start preaching about exclusion or ownership or even a static cultural identity.

Australia is a lot of things. It's the romance of the bush. It's the larrikinism that underpins our society. It's our willingness to give people a "fair go" but cut them down should they expect too much for too little. It's where you can come to to get a fresh start, where your neighbour is here for the same reason as you. It's the idea that we'd rather drown in a billabong than give up our freedom, that we'll fight for our liberty and the liberty of others. This is the Australia that I believe in, that I am patriotic about.

As a side note, the issue that has sparked my patriotism comes from a number of articles that have appeared in the media recently surrounding the gang violence that seems prevalent in young males of Lebanese decent, especially in the western suburbs of Sydney. A lot of the youths quoted in these articles talk about "Aussies" versus Lebanese which saddens me. The issue is complex and it would take a smarter or more informed blogger than myself to comment properly. But I want it known that I don't identify with the types of "Aussies" these Lebanese youths purport to be discriminated by any more than they do. The types of "Aussies" that insight violence with people of Middle Eastern decent are not the type of "Aussies" I want as my compatriots.

Encores

As an avid reader of my blog you'd know that one of my favourite things is live music. There's nothing better than seeing as band you love up close and personal in a dark and sweaty venue somewhere or discovering a new talent and watching them grow and evolve as performers.

I've been around live music since I was a kid thanks to my Dad's band and both my parent's involvement in the Central Australian Folk Society. I honestly can't remember the first gig I went to or even the first time I was on stage. One thing I do remember, however, is that encores used to be a rarity. You used to have to clap and yell and scream to get a band back on stage to do an extra song. Quite often they were unprepared. Several times they'd gone back to their dressing room with the intention of packing up and going home. And every time an encore was offered the audience reacted enthusiastically and appreciatively, and you'd go home talking about how special the performance was.

But now? Now we get an encore every time. Now it's expected. Artists include encores on their set-lists. Sometimes they'll even keep their "hit single" or popular favourite for the encore. I've been to a number of lackluster gigs that have had 2 or 3 encores. I have watched as an audience claps lazily waiting for the band to come back on stage and play again. At an Eels gig last year the audience stood and waited in silence, even after the lights came up, for a second encore because of the band's reputation for providing numerous and spontaneous "extra songs".

And it annoys me. Encores aren't special anymore. Audiences no longer have to work to get another snippet of music from their favourite acts. And it infuses a sense of entitlement and arrogance in musical acts who feel it is their right to get back out on stage and keep going, even if audience really doesn't care.

I only clap and cheer for an encore if I think the band really deserves it. I'm seeing Ben Folds in just over a week and I can almost guarantee that I'll be on my feet and calling for more. But the Dappled Cities gig I went to on the weekend? I would have been content without the extra bit at the end.

There's eventually going to be a backlash against encores. It has to come because they are almost a joke. Why bother getting off stage at all if you're definitely going to play again? Why not just play for longer?

One of two things is going to start happening: Either artists will stop performing encores (The Strokes and other bands are already doing this) or audiences will stop clapping for them. And then maybe the encore will once again become a rarity that we'll learn to work for and appreciate.

That's it. No more. The blogger has left the building.

SILF: A Sandwich made so perfectly one would be able to fornicate with previously mentioned sandwich

My favourite food is sandwiches. I could eat sandwiches for every meal for the rest of my life. This may sound exaggerated but when you consider I happily consume about 2 or 3 sandwiches a day it's not such a stretch.

In my opinion Pizza also falls into the Sandwich category. There is nothing that you can have on a pizza that you can't also have in a sandwich. In the same vein, Omlette could be considered the sandwich (or maybe the pizza) of the breakfast world. Then there's wraps, kebabs, burgers, the list goes on.

But I digress. I am of the opinion that there is no perfect sandwich, no ultimate SILF. Sometimes you just want a BLT. Other times it's roast beef or chicken. Very very occasionally you mightn't want meat at all and settle for something vegetarian - although I must say I very rarely go vegan (one needs cheese or at least egg).

I would, however, like to share with you my favourite sandwich combination. That way, next time you invite me over for a meal you know exactly what I'd like:

• Soft Wholemeal Bread or Roll. Crusty bread is OK but can wreak havoc on the inside of your mouth. I prefer a bread you feel safe biting into


• Butter. I dunno why - everything tastes better with butter


• Dijon Mustard. Maille do a great dijon that bites just right


• Whole Egg Mayonnaise. I know this is two condiments but the way I figure it you have two slices of bread or two ends of a roll. I'm really into Paul Newman's mayo, very very nice. Don't buy a combined dijon and mayo. This is an affront to the sandwich gods


• Honey Leg Ham. I like ham off the bone (more commonly known as Christmas Ham) but given that most of my ingredients are salty, the sweetness of honey ham offers a nice balance


• Vintage Cheddar Cheese. I'm a Crackle Barrel man myself


• Vine Ripened Tomato, sliced. My beautiful girlfriend and I had a discussion when we moved in together about tomatoes. I'm cheap so I normally buy the regular variety. She said "given that you eat so many you might as well buy the best tasting". So now I do and I'll never go back


• Red Capsicum, sliced. Again, adding a hint of sweetness to an otherwise salty sandwich


• Spanish Stuffed Olives, sliced. Green olives are not very popular but I think they work much better than black or kalimata olives in a sandwich. I like to keep a jar of Always Fresh in the fridge

Obviously there are a lot of beautiful ingredients that I'm missing - the fact there's no onion is in itself a surprise - but I reckon this combination just goes so well together.

The local cafe in Stanmore offers its customers a chance to invent and name a sandwich on their menu. Maybe I should give this to them? The Gareth. Has a nice ring to it.

Right, I need a sandwich...